Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
