how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
