Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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