he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
