I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
