They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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