But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
zippers are such a cool invention
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
