This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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