the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
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Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
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Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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