we're blogging at a bar
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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