fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
