Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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