worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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