i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
