We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
