no, he came in my armpit
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize