I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
