I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
