Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
