I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Randomize
