Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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