Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
