Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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