fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
