I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
