I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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