let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Randomize
