I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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