I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Non-Jews are for practice
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Randomize
