Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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