Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The air was thick with penises
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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