What did we do last night that was yellow?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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