This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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