The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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