sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
