Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
