Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Randomize