I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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