just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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