i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
where am i from again
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
