walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
