if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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