I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
she told me i tasted like america
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
