Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i just made my gag reflex go away.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Randomize
