Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
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