well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
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It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
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I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
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