I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
