u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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