Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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