Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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