"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i wish my penis had a tongue
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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