You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
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