If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize