College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
