I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??