I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
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I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
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She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.