my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
