only if we run a train.
done.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
