I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
