she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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